yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
