nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He has the fingertips of a God
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