i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
