i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
