She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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