Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
