No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I could fuck to npr.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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