from now on my penis is your penis
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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