Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
