Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize