Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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