who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
