We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
