white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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