I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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