Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize