ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
