Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
