Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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