I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
