The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
