So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
