did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
