When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
