after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
