Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
