I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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