hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
