kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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