If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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