who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
