She said her name was "party"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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