her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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