I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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