she was so not down for the gang bang
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
