the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
