saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
