The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
