How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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