ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
