Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize