I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
