I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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