her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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