Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
