Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Pants are for mortals
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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