the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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