Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
false alarm. still invincible.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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