It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
