so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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