I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
