walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
