toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
