He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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