"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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