Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
