He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
