ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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