In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
