Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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